Didn't show up

Whether it was a tryst, a date, a meeting, or a hook-up, sometimes we are left alone. The other part does not show up. I have commented on that here and there, but never as thoroughly and to the point like a blogger did in this post.

It is great to see I am not the only one realizing beforehand that someone's not going to show up. In that sense, I remember a certain trip to Prague (three hours of net time to get there) in which I planned a lot of things to do (exhibitions, sightseeing, shopping, etc) just in case any of my six dates for the day did not show up. "Come on, you can't be serious, six dates". Fine, just six meetings for a coffee with potential friends. And yes, it is still a lot. But it is Prague. I know Prague. And I know very well the gays from Prague. Therefore, there was no disappointment or surprise when:

• two of them did not show up or send a message or contact me anyhow ever after
• one wrote again some weeks afterwards and wanted to meet. I have never planned any meeting again. We chat at times. I am conscious it's a waste of time and I can't understand myself
• two of them excused themselves some minutes before the meeting and never wrote again
• the last one wanted me to cross half Prague to get to him (40 minutes on public transport plus my previous 3 hours). I was too tired after all the activities and called him to come to the city center. He refused. I excused myself and went home.

On the other hand, it has happened to me to go to a date, the other side was informed about which bus I was going to catch (from a different city), and it was the first time ever I was not allowed to get on the bus because it was too full. But then, I phoned, we agreed to wait for the following bus (which was more than one hour later) and... he waited... I arrived... some weeks after we started dating. Not that it was the luckiest decision in my life, but it gave me some period of stability and I believed to be happy next to him.

At any case, nowadays we all have means to tell someone on time that we are going to be late. Sh*t happens, that is true—but I agree with the blogger mentioned above that it is highly unlikely that one cannot inform about a late arrival. Furthermore, if the meeting really did not take place for some reasons beyond our reach, maybe it was not supposed to happen anyway. Period.

A friend of mine told me a different story: he was to meet another guy and when he got to the point and called the other person, this told him "I'm not showing up, but it is nice you did. I can see you, wearing bla bla and now you are moving into this and that direction"... Whether real or invented, this story is creepy.

And no, I do not plan meetings for sex. An acquaintance of mine (who is very sexy and charming) once told me to go from the city center to his place. We have never had sex or physical approaching. I had my three hours on the train and had lots of things to do, but wanted to see him and chat a bit. He refused to come to the center (another one, again). Sorry, I am no charity slut, going to you for free to do whatever your sexual wishes are.

I do not go to Prague to meet anyone anymore. Since years ago. Sometimes I let somebody know that I need to go to Prague (or, mind, any other city). It is very, very rare to have someone moving his (or her) butt to meet you even if it would take them "just" 10-15 minutes to commute to you. And that includes people I have already met. I guess I am not that attractive—or certain people cannot realize I am. For whatever reason, I do not believe anyone really wants to meet. And now I just chat.